The Leader

Life is short. Well, if that isn't the biggest crock I've ever heard. Life may seem like it goes by quickly, but by no means is it short. And if people don't want life to seem so short, then why do they rush through everything? Kids in high school want to grow up too fast. People in college rush off to get married. People who are married rush into having kids. In reality though, people are living longer, healthier lives and there is no need for this constant rush.

This is one lesson I wish I would have learned earlier. Me being the na�ve sophomore in college who thought she knew everything did not realize these life lessons until it was too late though. At age 22, I have been not only married but divorced as well. Granted this makes for good stories sitting around the bar table, but is indeed something of which I am not very proud.

At the tender age of 19 years old, I had been seeing (or should I say not seeing due to the fact he lived 600 miles away) my boyfriend for seven months. I missed him terribly because I rarely saw him and the majority of our relationship was over the phone. So when he popped the question three weeks before my 20th birthday, getting married sounded like a good thing to do.

I found the place, ordered the flowers and cake, invited all my friends and family and before I knew it I was standing in front of 125 guests saying "I do." I thought I had it all figured out until it hit me just how much happier I was being a 20-year-old college student with about 60 to 80 more years of life to live. Why did I have to rush into such a life altering decision without so much as second thought?

I wish someone sat me down and had given me the "this is going to be a mistake" talk. Not like it would have done any good, because like most newly out of high school "I can conquer the world" young adults I thought I knew everything. But an attempt to get through to me would have been nice.

Maybe there is a reason the whole "does anyone object?" bit is even included in a marriage ceremony.

Many people have this natural tendency to try and find the one person they are meant to spend the rest of their life with starting around the age of 14. Granted this was started back when the average lifespan was about 40 years. These days, people are still going strong on into their 80s and 90s-that's like 75 years of waking up next to the same person day in and day out!

Times they are a changin' and it's about damn time people catch up. Women don't have to find a husband to support them anymore and men don't have to take on a wife because it's the proper thing to do. Arranged marriages have mostly become a thing of the past, so why can't the mad dash to the altar become out of style too?

Hasn't anyone begun to wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Maybe it has something to do with the Las Vegas shotgun marriages, the knock 'em up and marry 'em, or the traditional young lust mistaken for love marriages. All of these situations are guilty of creating the nearly 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce statistic there is today.

Now even though I have contempt for the idea of getting married while in college, or a young age in general, it doesn't mean that I don't believe solely in monogamous and serious relationships. But throughout all of my experiences, the one thing I have taken to heart is that it takes a long time to truly get to know someone well enough to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Many times a proposal is made one to two years after being in a relationship. Some would argue that is ample enough time in order to make a proper judgment about your significant other, but I disagree.

Not only do I say one to two years is not long enough to be with someone before marriage, but I am also of the belief that one has to live with or be in a situation similar to living with someone beforehand, too. Granted this goes against what once was the proper thing to do, but I think it needs to get tossed out the window. It was standard because of that whole "no sex before marriage" idea anyway.

It is similar to having roommates. Think of how many horror stories people have about that one roommate that you just can't get along with. Well, this is the same concept even if the roommate is your significant other. Sometimes you can get along with someone great, be best friends with or boyfriend/girlfriend even, but living with that person is a whole different story.

So in short, or not so short because life is indeed very, very long: when you're young, don't be in such a rush to grow up.

There is indeed plenty of time to do all the grown up stuff like work, marriage and kids. So why rush to get there? College is supposed to be the best time of your life, and I don't think that phrase was coined because of fond memories of having work, marriage and kids.

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